


The Intimacy of Truth

by Tasyfa



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Disabled Character, Canon Gay Character, M/M, Minor Forrest Long/Alex Manes, Minor Maria DeLuca/Michael Guerin, Positive portrayal of 2x06, do not copy to other sites
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:35:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24084463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tasyfa/pseuds/Tasyfa
Summary: Sort of a coda to 2x08 (see Notes). Michael lends an ear when Alex shows up in need of a friend to talk to.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 44
Kudos: 138





	The Intimacy of Truth

**Author's Note:**

> This is set after 2x08 and slightly into 2x09 - no 2x09 spoilers, just running with the assumption that Michael, Isobel, and Sanders have a conversation following the reveal. This is a missing moment for after that conversation. Michael POV. 
> 
> **There are positive references to the 2x06 Airstream scene, so if that's not your jam, please hit the back button now.**
> 
> I'm not entirely sure where this came from? But it wanted writing and so here we are!   
> ~ Tas

"You said loved." 

Michael looked up from the work table at the unexpected voice. After the revelations of the evening, he'd felt the need to keep busy rather than relax by the fire, too much whirling endlessly in his mind still once Sanders and Isobel had left. He hadn't expected to see anyone else tonight - especially not Alex, given Michael hadn't seen him since watching him drive away in morning sunshine, the day after the night before. 

He didn't know what else to call it. Not a circle of hell, at any rate; it was a memory Michael treasured. But it felt like a dream of another world, one that had burned up in the daylight. 

Maybe it had been a circle, and then it had been broken, the moment one of them had stepped outside the Airstream door. 

He shook off the thoughts and focused on the man in front of him. In all black, like he'd used to wear, although the clothes themselves were suited to a grown man, save for the muted twinkle of the wallet chain across one hip. 

"Sup, bro?" At the raised eyebrows, Michael chuckled. "Yeah, okay, I did say that. And you more or less agreed with me. What of it?" 

"More or less?" Alex enquired, moving closer to the table. He was fully in the light now and Michael realised his hair was kind of done and the jacket was less casual than he'd thought. Huh. 

"Yeah, more or less, Alex. I mean, you said yes when I said that, but I don't know that I'd call it a tone of conviction." 

"Did you think I didn't mean it?" 

Michael sighed. "I think you didn't know what you meant, and maybe didn't know how you felt, either. Emotions aren't really your strong point, Alex, you know that as well as I do," he stated bluntly, surprised when one corner of Alex's mouth lifted in a lopsided smile. 

"Better than anyone, Guerin." 

Spreading his hands in acquiescence, Michael agreed, "Better, then." He frowned slightly. "So why are you asking me?" 

He watched Alex pick up a wrench, turning it restlessly in his hands, eyes ostensibly on the tool but Michael could tell he was staring at nothing. "I went, on a date. Today." 

"Okay," he kept his tone neutral enough, questioning. He couldn't deny the swift slice of pain at the words but it wasn't his place to be angry about it. Especially not now. One night in a different time stream didn't erase all the lines in the sand. 

Alex blew out a breath and shook his head, seemingly at himself. "I don't know why I'm ---"

"Alex," Michael broke in gently, having a pretty good idea where that sentence would end - with Alex leaving, words left unspoken and mind still in turmoil. "Just talk, man. I'm listening." 

Dark eyes flicked up to meet his. Checking for accuracy, maybe. Michael waited. He was learning, trying to be more patient and open, less reactionary, and eventually Alex nodded. "I choked. When he went to kiss me. It was outside, and... Well, and then it wasn't just a mental echo of my dad's voice, it was the fucking hospital, because I'm the only emergency contact in town now that Flint's been reassigned. So I went and dealt with that, and met back up with Forrest for a drink, and I," he sighed, eyes closing a moment as he swallowed. Michael didn't let himself get caught on the name, doing his damnedest to just listen. "He told me it's okay that I'm not fully out of the closet but he doesn't want to climb in there with me and to call if I ever get Dad's voice out of my head." 

"Whoa," the soft exclamation took them both by surprise and it seemed to soothe Alex's nerves because he laughed. 

"Yeah." 

"So, uh, that was, pretty straightforward on his end," Michael ventured, not sure what Alex was hoping to get out of telling him all this. 

"It was. And, I mean, it's fair," he paused, wetting his lips. "He's very, very out, and I'm... not." 

"He was also right about that being okay," he emphasised. It felt important. 

"Yeah, I guess." A muscle ticked in his cheek. "How do you deal with it?"

"With what, exactly?" 

"Not being out," he clarified, and Michael's stomach clenched. 

Softly, he explained, "Alex... I'm not in, either. I've never made any secret of my bisexuality. It's just, people see what they wanna see. So if they've seen me with women, they assume I'm straight, and nobody notices when I hook up with the occasional dude." He watched Alex carefully as he continued, "It's a lot like people looking right at Rosa and seeing some Mexican girl who looks like someone else they used to know once. What’s in front of their eyes doesn't match what they've decided is the truth, so they just don't see it." 

"Oh," he said faintly. "So, just me then." 

"With good reason," Michael insisted. "Forrest doesn't know your father. Hell, I didn't know what he was truly capable of until last year."

"Yeah," Alex sighed. "I know that. I do." 

"But you're not feeling it." The tells were subtle, but present. 

A slow nod, Alex pursing his lips. "On the one hand, it's like, I'm twenty-eight years old, I've literally shouted that I'm gay several times this past year, and I'm no longer in danger of losing my commission for being known to be gay or having a relationship, but..." 

"But on the other hand, the Master Sergeant isn't your average garden variety bigot, and his idea of reasonable consequences includes torture and murder." 

"Yeah." His lips compressed into a thin line. "When do I get to be done with this?" 

"When do you want to be done with it?" Michael countered, curious to see what the response would be. 

He snorted and rolled his eyes. "Like, yesterday, Guerin." 

"Yeah? So you want, what, exactly? To be out from under your father's thumb in your personal life, out and proud, comfortable being seen with a guy in a romantic context in public?" He watched Alex's face as he spoke, seeing longing amidst the exasperation. 

" _Yes_ , Guerin, that is what I want," Alex confirmed, testy. 

Michael finished the small repair and pulled the rag from his back pocket, wiping his hands clean as he said, "The part you're missing, Alex, is that you're a million steps closer to that compared to a year ago. At the reunion last summer, you didn't think it mattered, what you wanted. Now it does, and you know what it is, too." He shrugged. "Maybe don't be so hard on yourself for not knowing the how or when yet." 

Alex took a deep breath and let it out slowly, a sure sign that what Michael had said had found its mark. "You're right. It - that actually makes sense." 

"I have my moments," Michael chuckled. He considered, then added, "You want a beer? Isobel brought the fancy stuff as an apology for doing the exact opposite of what I asked her to do, and helping Maria with her visions." It still worried him, but it was Maria's choice. 

"Maria's having visions?" Alex reached for the bottle after Michael remotely popped its top. 

"Yeah. Valenti didn't loop you in yet? He's been distracted lately. Isobel said he's got feelings for someone but she doesn't know who." He grabbed his own bottle and gestured towards the fire pit, following behind Alex. 

"He's been on rotation a lot at Roswell Community so I haven't talked to him recently. What does that have to do with Maria?" he asked, dropping heavily into a chair. 

Michael built up the fire then found his own seat. "I'll get to that in a minute. First, I need to tell you about Walt." 

"What, the kid who knew your mother?" Michael appreciated the way Alex got excited about the prospect of new information. "You found him?" 

"Sure did," he drawled, taking a long pull of his beer. "He's my fucking boss, Alex. Sanders is Walt." 

[Et fini]


End file.
